Selfish

I have been thinking about writing this blog post for awhile, but just haven't taken the time to put the words down. I feel selfish at times because I am glad I am the one with all the health issues. I don't really worry about my health that much. There are times I get concerned. I do worry after blood tests or scans as I wait for the results.  I do cry or get upset. I allow myself to have those moments then I move on. I have learned to let myself cry or feel hopeless. Usually it lasts no more than an hour and it is gone. Other than tests time I don't really worry about it. I just know I will be fine.

One day I was thinking I am so glad I have these ailments and not my husband, parents or sister. I would be worried sick if it was them. I feel bad at times because I know they worry. There are times I make a groan or say ouch. Art will usually turn to me immediately asking what is wrong. He wants details about what is wrong. Sometimes it is just simple things like I laid in the same spot to long and my body is sore. Everyone has those issues. 

My main problem is fatigue. I don't feel I have ever bounced back after surgery. I have been soooo tired for a year. I have had numerous issues which would cause fatigue. I am just not use to this. Prior to surgery I was working out 5 days a week, running around the office working like a crazy person, I would come home and do stuff. Well I feel all I can do is just a couple things a day. If it is a work day I go to work, make dinner, make lunches for the next day and lay on the couch. Forget anything else being done. Days off I will do laundry, clean a little and rest. It is frustrating to be this tired. I am 33 not 83. I am slowly learning to listen to my body. I have actually gone home from work early often. I have been working from  home as much as I can. 

Possibly the reason I don't worry so much about my health is because I just know God will take care of things. I told one of my doctors I don't plan to go anywhere and he will be dealing with me for another 50 years. He will retire long before I plan to die. I also think medicine is going to find some type of cure for my ailments. 

Happy Birthday to my Sister!!!

Today Lacey turns a quarter of a century. It is hard to believe 25 years have gone by. Lacey has brought our family so much happiness. She would crack us up as a little kid with the crazy stuff she said. There are still statements we use. When she was around 3 she was complaining how hot she was and that her leg pits were sweating. lol We still talk about our leg pits. 

I am so thankful to call her my sister! I love you! I hope you have a fabulous birthday and year 25 brings you all the happiness you deserve in life!!!

Crack

This is my new crack! It is delish on pretzels, toast, waffles, by the spoonful. It is super delish! Try it out! Or don't try it if you are easily addicted. 

Wordless Wednesday

Diners, Drive Ins & Dives

When I was off work I watched the Food Network daily. I have always liked watching Diners, Drive Ins and Dives. I really get excited when I see Northern California places. Well in the past month I have gone to 2 places. Let me tell you the food is just as amazing in person as it looks on TV. 

Art and I went to Pacifica one weekend. We left early on a Saturday to get in line at Gorilla Barbeque. You have to get there early because they make so much food and when it's gone it's gone. We were the first people waiting in the parking lot. 

We ordered one brisket, sausage and ribs along with mac & cheese and coleslaw. The above picture is maybe a 1/3 of the meal. We split one meal. We eat ate and then had enough for another meal. The brisket and ribs were amazing. I wasn't a big fan of the rice & beans. It was very plain to me. The mac & cheese was delish! It has a crush of Gold Fish crackers. mmmmm

The next place I suggest going to during the day. It is NOT in the best part of San Francisco. 

Show Dogs on Market. It is a couple blocks from Union Square right by some lovely strip clubs. The people in the area are a little shady. Luckily I went with someone from work. We walked rather quickly those 2 blocks. 

I am known to take people to sketchy parts of town or sketchy hotel rooms. Ask my mom & Art about my terrible hotel room picking. 

Back to Show Dogs. They had the most amazing strawberry lemonade and blueberry basil soda. I haven't ever tasted anything like the blueberry basil soda in my life. They also make milk shakes with beer. That sounds 

Polish Dog with onion rings below

Italian Dog with fries below

Show Dogs also makes all their own sauces. 
I would go back to this place, but I would take Art with me. I think we might go on a Saturday sometime soon. He was VERY jealous of my adventure. 

Menu Monday

Menu for this week

Orange Chicken & Fried Rice - from Trader Joes
Bratwursts & Fries with gravy - from Trader Joes
Pizza 
Breakfast
something out of the freezer. Art really wants that freezer cleared out. I have been trying to clean that thing out, but it has been slow. He wants it cleaned out, so we cake 25 pounds of sausage to fill up the freezer. 

OOTD

My outfits from 2 weeks ago. 

Scarf: Forever 21

Tshirt: Target

Cardigan: Gap

Pants & Shoes: Old Navy

Scarf: Gift

Jacket: Burlington Coat Factory

Tshirt: Gap

Pants & Shoes: Old Navy

Jacket: Gift

Tshirt: Gap

Jeans: Old Navy

Shoes: Minnetonka

Cardigan: Target
Tshirt: J Crew Factor

Jeans: Old Navy

Shoes: Bass

Breakfast Time

Forks work pretty good to eat eggs, but they are a little slow. I can shovel food in much faster using my fingers. Food gets dropped on my bib and I just eat it straight off the bib. 

Wordless Wednesday

Pranks

Art & I are always pulling pranks on each other. The month of December we sure were on a roll. It was almost a daily event. Sometimes it was just us jumping out scaring the other or craziness around the house. 

I hung this lovely head as Art opened the door. Of ALL days he comes through the garage. He rarely ever goes through the garage. 

One morning Art says Good Morning Dear! I roll over, see this lovely pig face and my response....Why did you waste our money on that thing? Rolled back over and went to sleep. lol

I wrapped one of Art's gifts in all the leftover scraps. Layers & layers of wrapping paper. 

Art wanted a meat grinder for Christmas. I took the grinder out of the box, put in a hood and bread pan. I taped a note to the instructions - LOL You Wish!  Well I failed with taping the note to the instructions. lol

Menu Monday

We are still trying to use up our freezer stash. I find a lot of stuff on sale at Fresh & Easy. I usually pack the freezer with deals I find at F&E. Well they changed where they put the sale items. They use to group it all together in one area. Now they are just marking things down around the store. Ugh! I am NOT happy about this!

This week we will be having:

Fajitas
Pork Loin & Couscous
Burrito Bowls
Pizza
BLT's

Wordless Wednesday

Laughter is the Best Medicine

Survivor!

One year ago I became part of a group I never imagine I would ever join - cancer survivor. I've thought a lot about the one year mark. I've been anxious to get to this point. I've struggled with what to write because I'm not sure I can put into words just how much the past year has changed me.

I went into surgery thinking it would be an easy fix, but walked away with a life long journey. Physically & emotionally it was a rough year. I wouldn't change one thing about the past year. I've said it before but going through everything God became so real. 

I struggled with how to celebrate year one. I don't feel I can say 1 year cancer free because my body won't ever be rid of cancer. I decided I will celebrate the years as a survivor. We will celebrate with cake & candles to represent each year. 

I recently had my one year check up with my surgeon. I asked her if she could believe it's been a year. I remember my first visit with her. I left crying because I would have a scar. Then that scar became nothing when lymphoma was mentioned - chemo would make my hair fall out. Now I don't even notice the scar. My left side of my neck is still numb and the scar is still pretty red on my right side. They have talked about different treatments for the scar. I'm not sure I will do anything because one day I will have another surgery. I will let them fix it then. 

Today I celebrate one year as a survivor of Medullary Thyroid Cancer. It is a journey that will follow me for the next 56 years (I have plans to be here until at least 89 years old). I look forward to watching medicine find a cure and giving all the MTC people hope for a full life! 

OOTD

Here are some old OOTD I found that I didn't publish. Some of these outfits are from summer. It is WAY too cold to be wearing sandals around here now. 

Jeans, Tank, Cardigan: Old Navy
Shoes: Lucky

Tshirt & Jacket: Target
Scarf: Gift
Jeans: Old Navy
Shoes: Lucky

Jacket, tshirt: Old Navy

Pants: Gap

Necklace: Amazon

Shoes: Bass

Tshirt: J Crew Factory

Skirt: Lane Bryant

Sandals: Target

Necklace: Jane.com

Tshirt: J Crew Factory

Skirt: Old Navy

Sandals: Target

Necklace: Jane.com

Wordless Wednesday