What actually is Grace?

I feel this year I have been learning the actual meaning of grace in my life and what the Bible actually teaches. I feel mans teaching has been so wrong over the years. I went to see Jen Hatmaker in February. She talked about the Good Samaritan helping the certain man in Luke 10. One thing that really got to me was how the Bible talked about this certain man. In the Bible it doesn't talk at ALL about what this man had done. It doesn't mention if he was homeless, drug addict, a great man, provoked the thieves etc. It just talks about the people who didn't help him and the one man who did. WOW! To me that was so powerful. There are so many times we don't help people because we don't think they deserve to be helped. I don't think that is what God wants from us. To make a judgment or determination who needs to be helped. Well I helped them one time, they screwed up and they don't deserve to be helped again. Think if God treated us that way? 

God is gracious and loves to give us good gifts. We do not have to strive in life for anything. We do not have to be good enough or do the right thing in order for God to give us grace, the desires of our heart or to be there for us. His grace is undeserving, unwarranted and something we can't earn. His grace is freely given to us. So often I was taught the reasons I went through trials were because I did something to deserve these trials. That I won't see God's grace through trials because I haven't earned his grace. Yikes! This is a horrible teaching and it isn't what the Bible teaches at all. You get to the point you don't want to even try anymore because what's the point. 

Over the years I have been through a lot in my life. I have always seen God take care of me. I have been through a lot of crap in life. There is so much of my life that I have not shared on my blog. I have shared some of the crappy parts here. Growing up my parents didn't shelter us from the trials of life. Instead we all prayed about them as a family and tried to trust God. People can say well children shouldn't experience that stress. I can see that point. I have to say that experiencing the trials life threw at us as a family from a young age has helped me deal with trials as an adult. Some times trials happen because of bad decisions or because there aren't boundaries in place, but that does not mean God's grace isn't there for us!!!!!! Those are lessons you have to learn in life. 

I love the song Reckless Love by Cory Asbury. It really has spoke to me while we have been going through some rough times in life. Sometimes we need to just stop and let God love us. Let Him show us his grace! 

Reckless Love Lyrics

Before I spoke a word, You were singing over me

You have been so, so good to me

Before I took a breath, You breathed Your life in me

You have been so, so kind to me

Oh, the overwhelming, never-ending, reckless love of God

Oh, it chases me down, fights 'til I'm found, leaves the ninety-nine

I couldn't earn it, and I don't deserve it, still, You give Yourself away

Oh, the overwhelming, never-ending, reckless love of God, yeah

When I was Your foe, still Your love fought for me

You have been so, so good to me

When I felt no worth, You paid it all for me

You have been so, so kind to me

And oh, the overwhelming, never-ending, reckless love of God

Oh, it chases me down, fights 'til I'm found, leaves the ninety-nine

And I couldn't earn it, and I don't deserve it, still, You give Yourself away

Oh, the overwhelming, never-ending, reckless love of God, yeah

There's no shadow You won't light up

Mountain You won't climb up

Coming after me

There's no wall You won't kick down

Lie You won't tear down

Coming after me

There's no shadow You won't light up

Mountain You won't climb up

Coming after me

There's no wall You won't kick down

Lie You won't tear down

Coming after me

There's no shadow You won't light up

Mountain You won't climb up

Coming after me

There's no wall You won't kick down

Lie You won't tear down

Coming after me

There's no shadow You won't light up

Mountain You won't climb up

Coming after me

There's no wall You won't kick down

Lie You won't tear down

Coming after me

Oh, the overwhelming, never-ending, reckless love of God

Oh, it chases me down, fights 'til I'm found, leaves the ninety-nine

And I couldn't earn it, I don't deserve it, still, You give Yourself away

Oh, the overwhelming, never-ending, reckless love of God, yeah

Songwriters: Caleb Culver / Cory Asbury / Ran Jackson

Miracle!

Last week I announced on social media that we are expecting a baby in July! We are so very excited! 

This baby is a true miracle and our rainbow baby. I haven't shared on my blog about wanting another child or our struggle. We had been told by numerous doctors G was a miracle and we probably never would be able to have another one. I went through a period of where I was grieving. It was a very difficult time for me. I feel I haven't been able to make very many choices when it comes to my health. They have all been made for me over the past 5 years. 

I am so very thankful for little G. He is seriously the brightest miracle in my life! 

I found out I was pregnant right before Thanksgiving. I honestly didn't have much hope this pregnancy would continue.  A lot was going on right then. I had my sister coming to visit. I was going with my mom to Mayo Clinic for some health issues. I just tried to continue with life and I would go to the doctor after to see what was going on with the pregnancy. I didn't tell anyone I was pregnant. I just didn't want people worrying or giving me their opinion on things. This one wasn't planned at all and was a surprise. Yes, Yes, I know where babies come from and how they can happen. lol  I am not going into the details of the 6+ months before, but there wasn't much hope. 

We waited awhile to tell family and even longer to tell our friends. 

G felt he had to tell everyone! He was with us at a doctor appointments when the doctor was talking about the baby and we could hear the heartbeat. G says momma open your mouf let me see that baby? He thinks the baby is the hangy thing in the back of your throat. lol

He then went to school and told everyone he was having a baby sister. He told the people at Sonic when we got our soda water he is having a baby sister. I had my friends little girl with me the day I picked up G from school, so his teachers thought that is who he was talking about. 

He has been so excited. He keeps asking hasn't the baby been in your belly long enough?

At night he will pat my belly. He said I need to pat the baby, so it won't cry and go to sleep. 

What will little Post be? Boy or Girl? We will find out later today!

Happy Anniversary to Us!

 It's hard to believe it's been 9 years since we said I Do! Crazy how time flies and how much changes over the years. There are times it feels we have been married way longer than 9 years and other times it feels it has flown by.

I wrote a blog post a little over a year ago when we celebrated 10 years together. Marriage is a lot of work. We have some non-negotiables in our marriage. Two things were if anyone cheated or if there was any type of abuse it was over. Other than that you make it work. We have both put a lot into making sure this marriage works. We aren't going to just live as roommates. We will call the other out on their ish.

I love that I have blogged about our marriage over the years. I like to read back on the old posts. The 5th anniversary blog post is one of my favorites you can read it here. Right around that time is when I felt our family would never grow. 1.5 years later we would have a little boy. That little guy has brought us closer together and has made us each pull our hair out. lol

George will go through our wedding pictures pointing everyone out, but when he gets to me he says I don't know. If you ask him where is mommy he says gone. lol

Happy Anniversary!

Merry Christmas!

Wordless Wednesday

Happy Thanksgiving!

I am so thankful for these two amazing guys in my life! The past year has been full of changes for our family. We have all had to go with the flow to figure out a new normal for us. While we have been through a lot it has brought us closer together. I am thankful for the changes the past year has brought us because in the end it was always the right thing for us. I hope you have a wonderful thanksgiving day and fill your bellies with delicious food! 

Happy 8 Years!

We made it through the 7 year itch to 8 years of marriage!!! 

As I look back over the past year I am so very happy with where we are today. We have been through some crappy crappy stuff over the past year. There was a period I thought crap we aren't going to make it to 8 years. That is just the reality of how things went. We have pushed through some rough stuff to make things work. I am proud of both of us for working on ourselves this year to make us better for the other. 

When I decided to marry Art I never questions if he loved me or would be faithful to me.  Faithfulness in a spouse is priceless! I am thankful I found that in my spouse. He has loved me through some dark times in our marriage. He has seen me at my worst. I remember the first time I was sick when we were dating. I had him take me to urgent care when I had strep throat. He made me smile or laugh the whole way there. I finally had to ask him to stop making me laugh because I was so horribly sick I just didn't have the strength. 

We have spent a lot of smiling and laughing in our marriage. The pranksters in each of us have helped keep our marriage fun. Maybe next year instead of an anniversary gift I should turn it into another April's Fools Day. Oh how I love when I get him on a good prank. This reminds me I need to blog about the great ones I pulled on him this year. 

My heart is full and running over as we enter into year 8! 

A Journey of 10 Years!

I haven't ever been a big Valentines fan. I use to refer to it as Hate Day. Art asked me out on our first date on Valentines. I refused to go on Hate Day. I did go out with him, but it wasn't on February 16. It is hard to believe this all happened 10 years ago. The past 10 years have gone by quickly in some ways and long in other ways.

October 2006

September 2007

It is amazing how much has happened to us. Our first dance song was called Never Alone by Jim Brickman. What a perfect song for the journey we were about to travel.  I found an old email last week that we had sent to each other when we were dating. I wish I would have saved a lot more emails. It talks about being in love and hoping to be even more in love 10 years later. Art asked me if I love him more now. My response was it is a much different love now. It is stronger and deeper. Back then it was more of a giddy love. We've been through so much together that a love changes and I feel ours has changed for the better.

April 2008

I wish people took marriage more seriously. I wish they put as much effort into marriage as they do the games on their phone or Xboxes. Marriage is no joke. It is A LOT of work! People have the mentality when things are broke you throw it away and get a new one. Same with spouses. Trade them in for younger, richer, or just the thrill of the chase.

We have both had to put a lot of work into making our marriage work for us. We have taken the mentality with our marriage when some thing is broken in our relationship we are going to fix it. Some things we can't fix, other things we fix and some times we have to pray for the other to realize things need to be fixed. Prayer isn't instant either. When those prayers are answered the journey was worth it.

November 2015

Our journey started 10 years ago today and it has brought us along a path neither of us imagined.

December 2015

Happy Boy!

It is hard to believe this little guy is already 9.5 months old! The past 3 months have flown by. The first 6 months seemed about right. He is growing so much! The other night he started pulling up and standing beside things. Honestly I am ready for him to walk. He is like a human swiffer when he crawls around the floor. He can't wear anything white. I swiffer and mop the floors all the time....he still looks like a dirt ball. lol

Wordless Wednesday

She said YES!!!

Six years ago Art got down on his knee and asked me to marry him. It was a Friday in 2007. We were enjoying a picnic at the park. He wanted to enjoy the lake. All I could think about was getting to a service area, so I could tell my family & friends the great news. Boy how some things don't change lol. 

As I look at my ring finger thinking back over the past six years it seems like a lifetime ago. I never imagined life would take us to where we are now. 

Flash back Thursday

Art went through a pile of pictures last weekend and found some gems. He found these pictures from when we first were dating. Boy do we both look different. lol

July 4, 2006

Lacey took this picture of us a couple days before Art left for in San Diego. I remember how sad I felt because Art was going to be going to San Diego for an undisclosed amount of time. It turned out to be 18 months. He was in San Diego to help with the National Guard with patrolling the border. 

October 2006

The above picture is one of my favorite because I look like I am missing a leg. I look like I have a peg leg. lol My mom took this picture of us in Old Town San Diego when we went to visit Art. 

Anniversary Weekend

Art and I went away for our anniversary. We found this hotel in Pacifica a couple years ago that we really like. It is right on the water and has a big jacuzzi tub! Art wanted to watch the sunset together out on the patio. Well we didn't even get to that point because I fell asleep at 630pm and slept till the next morning. lol Who does that? ME that is who! I have so may issues lately with sleeping. I have been sleeping 9-12 hours each night.

We did have a nice time for when I was awake. lol We had a nice drive to Pacifica, talked, enjoyed the scenery and went to dinner at a cute pub.

5 Years Anniversary!!!!

We Still Do - 5 Years Later!

Today we have been married a total of 1,826 days. We have spent the past eighteen hundred days learning constantly from each other. We have been through many trials in our 5 years together, but we have made it through everything together.

I never thought marriage would be hard. I don't know why, but I thought it would be just like dating. HA! Dating is easy in some ways and hard in other ways. Same with marriage. One thing I haven't worried about in the past 1800 days is Art's committment. He has proved over and over how committed he is to our marriage.

One of the few things that hasn't changed in our lives is our vehicles. I still have my mustang and Art still has his truck. I feel like almost everything else has changed in some way. We bought a house, painted all but 2 rooms, we have done many DIY items on the house. Then we decided it was time to add to my family, so we rescued a little dog. Little Sammy has been one of the best things for us. Our little furry baby! If only he could learn to talk it would make things easier. lol

We have tried to start a family, but for some reason that just hasn't worked out yet. Numerous miscarriages later we find out I have medullary thyroid cancer. I honestly believe that this is why I haven't been able to carry a baby to full term. I am hoping after everything is balanced out we will be able to have the family we want.

Amber graduated high school, then college, moved out on her own, had a baby and now is planning her wedding. Watching her grown up into an adult has been amazing over the past 5 years. She was 15 when I met her for the first time in rainy San Francisco. I was scared to death she wasn't going to like me and report back to the future inlaws Art needed to run. lol

I have changed jobs twice and Art has moved to a new location with his job. I spent 3 months unemployed during the start of the possibly the worst financial crisis.  

Our lives around us have been a constant change, but one things hasn't changed and that is our committment to our marriage. There have been times we both have felt we wouldn't make it, but we just keep putting one foot in front of the other.

I have thought for a few weeks what would I kind of advice can I give Amber and Lacey as they are about to get married. The only things that come to mind is marriage is hard, it is trying at times, but there is nothing that compares to being committed to that one person. Until you are married you don't understand the bond the 2 of you will have. I remember Cindy telling me about the bond before I got married. She couldn't explain it and I didn't understand what she was talking about until I was married. I called her one day and I said I understand it now because it is just there.

A marriage should come first before EVERYTHING else work, kids, school, house...everything. If you two don't work nothing else will work successfully in your marriage. Put your marriage first and everything else will fall into place.

I think putting my marriage first was a struggled for awhile. I was use to being single and doing what I wanted. I fit Art in when one or two nights a week and then on the weekends. Then I got married and there was this constant person there all the time. He thought I going to cook, clean, laundry and wait on him. I thought he was going to handle all car issues, bills, pamper me and bring me flowers. Well reality set in and it became a compromise that we each have to do things we didn't think we would.

When we got married we said we would be lucky to spend 40 years together. Art would be 80 and I would be 67. We set a goal of 40 years together - 5 down 35 to go!

Seven Years!

Today Art and I are celebrating 7 years together. What a perfect picture for our life together than the picture below. 

Our road together has to many twists and turns. The majority of the road we had planned should have said warning sign with blinking lights - sharp turns ahead. When we went out on a first date I never imagined he would end up being my husband. I just thought he was a fabulous friend and it was nice to meet him. Art said when he met me he was thinking that is my future sexy wife. That cracked me up the other day when he told me that. 

Tonight we are going back to the Afghan restaurant where we went on our first date.  I'm glad we found each other and we have gone on this amazing journey together!

First Phone Call

Seven years ago today Art called me for the first time. We had been emailing back and forth for about 6 months while he was stationed in Kosovo. When he came home he emailed and wanted to go out. I told him I wasn't interested. He really wanted to go out on Valentines. I told him I HATED Valentines Day and referred to it as Hate Day. He convinced me to go out with him, but I made him wait until February 16. What a man waiting around for some crazy chick! lol 

He called me on Valentines Day to wish me a Happy Valentines and talked to me for about 10 minutes. I was at work and he was driving to the gym. I can remember that day like it was last week. He turned Hate Day into Valentines Day. Although we still don't celebrate Valentines Day. Art said I refused to go out with him 7 yrs ago on Valentines, he isn't taking me out on Valentines now. lol  We will celebrate 7 years together on the 16th and go out to dinner. 

Happy Sunday!

A great one....

I heard a Miranda Lambert song Guilty in Here this morning. Two lines from the song made me think of dating in my 20's.


'Cause the good ones all got wedding rings
and the young ones are just too dumb


It made me laugh because that is exactly how I felt back in the day. Luckily I held out and found a GREAT one! The longer Art and I are together the more I realize how well we just fit together. He was the right one just for me. The timing was just right when he came along. 

Happy Anniversary to US!

4 years ago we said "I Do"

Hard to believe we have been married for 4 years already. Although our wedding day seems like 100 years ago too. The day was filled with so much love. We had so many of our close friends and family members by our side.

and lets not forget the wedding crashers! The couple below showed up at our wedding. I had no idea who they were. I asked Art...he then asked his mom. Turns out it was a couple his mom knew that found out about the wedding and showed up.

When Art and I decided to get married we were in it for the long haul. We figured we would probably be married about 40 years. That would take us to Art being 80 and me 67. That seems like an eternity right now, but the last 4 years have flown by.  Here is to another 36 years of marital bliss!!!!

Relaxing Weekend Away!

This past weekend Art and I went away to Saratoga.  We went away to celebrate 6 years together.  It was such a fabulous relaxing weekend! On Saturday morning we went for drive and then for a hike. Along the hike we had to stop for pictures!

These are my new Adidas shoes. I <3 them!!! I love the bright color and they are super comfy!

We walked all over Saratoga.

Here we are getting ready to go out on the town!