Happy Anniversary to Us!

 It's hard to believe it's been 9 years since we said I Do! Crazy how time flies and how much changes over the years. There are times it feels we have been married way longer than 9 years and other times it feels it has flown by.

I wrote a blog post a little over a year ago when we celebrated 10 years together. Marriage is a lot of work. We have some non-negotiables in our marriage. Two things were if anyone cheated or if there was any type of abuse it was over. Other than that you make it work. We have both put a lot into making sure this marriage works. We aren't going to just live as roommates. We will call the other out on their ish.

I love that I have blogged about our marriage over the years. I like to read back on the old posts. The 5th anniversary blog post is one of my favorites you can read it here. Right around that time is when I felt our family would never grow. 1.5 years later we would have a little boy. That little guy has brought us closer together and has made us each pull our hair out. lol

George will go through our wedding pictures pointing everyone out, but when he gets to me he says I don't know. If you ask him where is mommy he says gone. lol

Happy Anniversary!

A Journey of 10 Years!

I haven't ever been a big Valentines fan. I use to refer to it as Hate Day. Art asked me out on our first date on Valentines. I refused to go on Hate Day. I did go out with him, but it wasn't on February 16. It is hard to believe this all happened 10 years ago. The past 10 years have gone by quickly in some ways and long in other ways.

October 2006

September 2007

It is amazing how much has happened to us. Our first dance song was called Never Alone by Jim Brickman. What a perfect song for the journey we were about to travel.  I found an old email last week that we had sent to each other when we were dating. I wish I would have saved a lot more emails. It talks about being in love and hoping to be even more in love 10 years later. Art asked me if I love him more now. My response was it is a much different love now. It is stronger and deeper. Back then it was more of a giddy love. We've been through so much together that a love changes and I feel ours has changed for the better.

April 2008

I wish people took marriage more seriously. I wish they put as much effort into marriage as they do the games on their phone or Xboxes. Marriage is no joke. It is A LOT of work! People have the mentality when things are broke you throw it away and get a new one. Same with spouses. Trade them in for younger, richer, or just the thrill of the chase.

We have both had to put a lot of work into making our marriage work for us. We have taken the mentality with our marriage when some thing is broken in our relationship we are going to fix it. Some things we can't fix, other things we fix and some times we have to pray for the other to realize things need to be fixed. Prayer isn't instant either. When those prayers are answered the journey was worth it.

November 2015

Our journey started 10 years ago today and it has brought us along a path neither of us imagined.

December 2015

Happy Anniversary to us!

Today we celebrate 6 years of marriage! It is hard to believe it has been 6 years already. So much has happened in our lives. I couldn't imagine going through this journey with anyone else. The other night I was thinking how far we have come in our marriage. I am glad we found each other. 

Happy 6th Anniversary to my wonderful husband! Six down and 34 more to go! 

2018 Goals

Here are my goals for 2018!

• celebrate 10 years of marriage
• celebrate 5 years of cancer free
• celebrate Art turning 50
• celebrating Amber & Marcus 5th wedding anniversary
• all with our twin boys age 2-4 & a 5yr old Kaleb

Marriage!

100 Ways to Make Your Marriage Rock

I stumbled across this blog through Pinterest. I really liked these 100 ways to make your marriage rock.

1. Write him letters
2. Go on regular date nights
3. Write his name on lipstick on the bathroom mirror
4. Revitalize the romance with intimate dates
5. Pray together
6. Hide notes in secret places
7. Go to bed at the same time
8. Listen to music together-share earbuds
9. Send him on a scavenger hunt in the house
10. Buy him gifts he will love
11. Hide a treat in his glovebox or desk at work
12. Read the Bible together
13. Wear shirts that tell the world you love your spouse
14. Praise your spouse to other people
15. Let them overhear you
16. Read a marriage devotional
17. Porn-proof your home
18. Be best friends
19. Sleep in his t-shirts
20. Look to him to make the big decisions (see comment section for my opinion on #20, #21)
21. Let her make the small ones
22. Don’t nag him
23. Put down the seat, pick up your socks for her
24. Renew your vows privately with whispers and memories
25. Renew them publicly with cake and bubbly
26. Fight naked
27. Tell him you like him
28. Receive his compliments
29. Pick your battles
30. Show her you love her and tell him you respect him
31. Go away together at least once a year
32. Frame your wedding vows
33. Her: Read For Women Only
34. Hang pictures of the two of you around your house
35. Kiss in front of your kids
36. Make his favorite dessert
37. Have pictures of just the two of you made
38. Make sex a priority
39. Spend time apart occasionally
40. Learn to enjoy something he loves
41. Surprise each other
42. Meet him at the door
43. Dreamstorm
44. Text each other from across the room
45. Be accountable to each other
46. Set reminders on your phone to remember him/her throughout the week
47. Call him right now and tell him you appreciate him
48. Be affectionate
49. Him: Read For Men Only
50. Leave work and come home early
51. Wash, vacuum her car. Keep it full of gas.
52. Give each other romantic coupons
53. Engage every day in meaningful conversation
54. Compliment each other
55. Touch your spouse several times throughout the day
56. Take one day a month to make your spouse your total focus
57. Let each other sleep in
58. Be spontaneous!
59. Argue fair: avoid these words “you always” and “you never”
60. Kiss every day
61. Find tangible ways to serve your mate without complaining
62. Forgive quickly
63. Be honest.
64. But not hurtful
65. Get on the same page: plan your budget together
66. Look your best as often as you can
67. Guard your marriage
68. Get out of debt (and stay out)
69. Laugh together
70. Have a date night in
71. When your together-BE TOGETHER (take a break from phones, technology, etc)
72. Talk about your favorite memories together
73. Tell him he’s sexy just because
74. Tell her she’s pretty, especially when she’s not feeling it
75. Make him breakfast in bed
76. Do her chores for her
77. Get a couple’s massage or host your own privately
78. Read a book out loud together
79. Dance together-soft music (alone) or rocking music with the kids
80. Bring her/him a favorite drink during the middle of the day
81. Exercise together-hikes, bike riding, etc
82. Choose not to be annoyed by an irritating behavior/disappointment
83. Tell him a secret he doesn’t know about you
84. Thank your spouse just because, often
85. Sit on the same side of a booth at a restaurant
86. Lay in bed together and stare into each other eyes, without talking
87. Learn something new together-take an art class, cooking lessons, etc
88. Leave a sweet comment on the Facebook wall
89. Teach your kids about marriage
90. Stop what you’re doing, look them in the eye and listen to their answer
91. Create art together
92. Support each other’s goals
93. Know when to talk and when to hush
94. Consider counseling (even if there’s not conflict)
95. Doodle his name
96. Bring her flowers (even when she says they are too expensive)
97. Wear something he loves
98. Share furniture-sit in his lap
99. Fight for your marriage
100. Remember your spouse rocks-even when they don’t

Amazing Group of Friends!

I was fortunate to become a member of one of the most fabulous group of women. We all had one thing in common April 2008 Brides.  We were all knotties and then later became nesties.  Never in my wildest dreams did I think these women would turn out to be my friends.  I have had the pleasure of meeting 12 of the fabulous 50 A08ers.

Four years have passed since we were all planning our fairy tale weddings. We have been through so much over the past 4 years.  Too many life events to even start naming things.  We are all still band together.  One thing I love about my A08ers is we are always there for each other. We share things with our group we wouldn't breath a word to anyone else.  This helps us get through things and has brought us close together.

The girls call refer to me as the A08 Mayor or the mother hen.  They said I'm always the one to keep us all together.  I've always felt it is important to keep us together after all this time.  I do encourage ones who leave to come back.  Try to be positive, encouraging and lend an ear when needed.  I do this because these girls are important to me and my friends.

I told Art I wasn't going to go public with this last miscarriage. I didn't have the strength to hear pity or deal with hurtful things people say when they don't know what else to say.  I had just shared the news with A08 in Oct 2011 that I was pregnant.  Art and I were so excited.  This was going to be the time.  I had lost 50 pounds and we believed this would make the difference.  Two days after I told A08 I started having problems with the pregnancy.  The next 2 weeks were limbo land.  In the end I had a miscarriage.  I felt my heart was going to be ripped out of my heart.

The A08ers were AMAZING and such a rock for me!!!  Some sent flowers and slowly cards started trickling in and they continued for almost 3 weeks.  One day I logged onto our board and they had all taken pictures wearing a mustache!  A08ers, Husbands, kids, animals were wearing a mustache.  That was the best day!!!  Little did I know another best day was around the corner.

This past week I met Krystal in San Francisco for dinner.  She was in town for a big foodie convention. Krystal is 13 weeks pregnant.  I bought her a pregnancy journal and brought it to her that evening.  She said at the end of the evening it is so funny you brought me a gift because all the A08ers got together and bought you a gift.  I was SHOCKED beyond SHOCKED!

All the A08ers had gone together and bought Art & I a gift card to a bed and breakfast.  They also gave me an American Express gift card, so I can buy the North Face coat I've been wanting.  I didn't even know what to say. I felt I was in slow motion. Then she says she is video taping the whole thing LOL.  They all wanted to do something nice for me since I have been through so much this year.

Amazing!!!! My friends are just truly amazing!!!! I feel what I have done is just so simple and they have gone above & beyond for me. Love you girls!!!!

 

You can find the You Tube video HERE.

Is your marriage #1 in 2011?

The Official Divorce Busting Blog posted 10 Marriage New Years Resolutions here.  Is your marriage your first priority?  I was happy to see some of the resolutions Art & I already do; however, there are others we need to start doing. 

1) Make relationship goal-setting a priority- before weight loss or cutting back on drinking or smoking.

Since close to one out of every two first marriages end in divorce- and generally within 4 to 7 years- with extraordinarily detrimental effects to our health, we should switch our focus from personal to relationship improvement. The health benefits of marital fitness are monumental!

2. Have several date nights a month

Don’t justify a lack of regular quality couples time for any reason, including the kids. The best thing you can do for your children is put your marriage first. You don’t have to spend a lot of money or do something extravagant. You just have to plan alone time that is uninterrupted.

3. Spend at least ten minutes every day checking in with each other

Don’t let a day pass without finding out how your spouse is doing. It’s like putting blood in the blood bank. When the going gets tough, you will be able to draw on your savings! And when you ask how your partner is doing, truly listen to his or her response. Be present. Don’t multitask or it won’t count!

4. Tell your spouse three things you appreciate about him or her EVERY DAY

Focus on what works in your relationship and what your spouse does well. What you focus on expands. And don’t just notice the positive things, tell your spouse about your gratitude!

5. Don’t go to sleep angry

Although this is not always easy, especially when you think you’re right, declaring a moratorium before you start sawing zzzz’s will make for a fresh start in the morning. And by the way, you can still be somewhat angry and follow this advice anyway. It will begin to melt the ice.

6. Touch, flirt and have sex regularly

Remember what your relationship was like in the beginning? If more couples pressed the reset button and pretended they just met, their marriage would continue to sizzle.

7. Brag about your spouse to others in his or her presence

There’s a saying, “Let me see what I (you) say, so I know what I (you) think.” Speaking in glowing terms about your spouse in front of others feels like a public endorsement and that feels good.

8. Speak from the heart frequently

Although one partner is usually more verbal than the other, regular discussions about personal/emotional issues makes people feel closer and more connected.

9. Learn how to fight fairly

In all marriages, conflict in inevitable. However, how you fight can be the difference between lifelong relationship growth and divorce. Learn how to have constructive conversations about heated issues. Take a marriage seminar that focuses on fair fighting skills.

10. Don’t take yourselves too seriously. Don’t forget to laugh

Remember how you used to laugh at each other’s jokes and life seemed to be more light-hearted? Don’t lose your sense of humor, even when it comes to problem-solving. Laughter is life’s and love’s best medicine.