Monday, May 18, 2015

The Struggle is Real!

My new motto lately is "The Struggle is Real". I love every moment of being a mom. I can think of 3 exact times when I felt motherhood was a little too tough for the moment. I think that is pretty good for 8 months into motherhood. HOWEVER....It is a struggle daily to stay on top of things. There are days I just can't. I have been trying to give myself compassion and realize I just can't do every single thing. 

I look around my house and there are toys, clutter, dirt in the corners, dust on the furniture, dishes to put away, laundry to do etc. My most important thing I feel I need to stay on top of is clean floors...even that is a huge challenge. I can mop my floor and the next day G has dirt on his shirt from crawling cross it. Tile floors are just frustrating me at the moment. I have tried everything to keep those floors spic n span. 

I have one child....but the toys look like I have 2-3. I find toys under the couch, chair, in the kitchen, bedroom, and even my purse. Each night we pick up toys and put them in the baskets. Some how we just can't contain all these little toys. I am starting to think those toys are alive at night like Toy Story and move themselves all over the house. 

As I was running errands I realized just how much pressure women have on a daily basis. Just as a wife, mother and employee the numerous jobs that go along with those titles are out of control. We need to look like a million bucks on a fifty thousand dollar budge. That fifty thousand dollars needs to pay all the bills, buy groceries, save for retirement, save for college, new cars, and maintaining the million dollar womanly look. It's completely impossible to manage all that nonsense. 

I can't maintain a blog while working full time, carrying for an infant, trying to be a good wife and running a household. When I have time I blog. Most of the time it is a picture I am able to post from my phone. I don't even have time to read blogs anymore. I will catch a blog once in awhile if I see the blogger made a comment on FB or IG about their latest blog post. 

It was important to me that G was breastfed and boy oh boy was that a real struggle the first eight weeks. I had to work soooo hard to make it successful. I still have to work on staying on top of having enough milk. It also is important to me what he eats. I have made 98% of his food. There are times I have just had to buy jarred food. Guess what he has been fine too. I know I get a little crazy about what foods he eats because of my whole cancer ruckus. I just want him to be healthy and grow up to be as healthy as possible. 

You know what matters the most? The fact my son is thriving and super happy. That kid loves a good selfie or to talk to Nonna on Facetime. He sees himself and starts smiling away. Or when I pick him up from the nanny. I walk into the room and he lights up. In that moment who cares about the stressful conference call I just had. That smile fixes everything. Those dishes can stay in the sink, laundry can stay piled up in the basket and greasy hair will probably be covered up with dry shampoo yet another day. The struggle is real folks!