What actually is Grace?

I feel this year I have been learning the actual meaning of grace in my life and what the Bible actually teaches. I feel mans teaching has been so wrong over the years. I went to see Jen Hatmaker in February. She talked about the Good Samaritan helping the certain man in Luke 10. One thing that really got to me was how the Bible talked about this certain man. In the Bible it doesn't talk at ALL about what this man had done. It doesn't mention if he was homeless, drug addict, a great man, provoked the thieves etc. It just talks about the people who didn't help him and the one man who did. WOW! To me that was so powerful. There are so many times we don't help people because we don't think they deserve to be helped. I don't think that is what God wants from us. To make a judgment or determination who needs to be helped. Well I helped them one time, they screwed up and they don't deserve to be helped again. Think if God treated us that way? 

God is gracious and loves to give us good gifts. We do not have to strive in life for anything. We do not have to be good enough or do the right thing in order for God to give us grace, the desires of our heart or to be there for us. His grace is undeserving, unwarranted and something we can't earn. His grace is freely given to us. So often I was taught the reasons I went through trials were because I did something to deserve these trials. That I won't see God's grace through trials because I haven't earned his grace. Yikes! This is a horrible teaching and it isn't what the Bible teaches at all. You get to the point you don't want to even try anymore because what's the point. 

Over the years I have been through a lot in my life. I have always seen God take care of me. I have been through a lot of crap in life. There is so much of my life that I have not shared on my blog. I have shared some of the crappy parts here. Growing up my parents didn't shelter us from the trials of life. Instead we all prayed about them as a family and tried to trust God. People can say well children shouldn't experience that stress. I can see that point. I have to say that experiencing the trials life threw at us as a family from a young age has helped me deal with trials as an adult. Some times trials happen because of bad decisions or because there aren't boundaries in place, but that does not mean God's grace isn't there for us!!!!!! Those are lessons you have to learn in life. 

I love the song Reckless Love by Cory Asbury. It really has spoke to me while we have been going through some rough times in life. Sometimes we need to just stop and let God love us. Let Him show us his grace! 

Reckless Love Lyrics

Before I spoke a word, You were singing over me

You have been so, so good to me

Before I took a breath, You breathed Your life in me

You have been so, so kind to me

Oh, the overwhelming, never-ending, reckless love of God

Oh, it chases me down, fights 'til I'm found, leaves the ninety-nine

I couldn't earn it, and I don't deserve it, still, You give Yourself away

Oh, the overwhelming, never-ending, reckless love of God, yeah

When I was Your foe, still Your love fought for me

You have been so, so good to me

When I felt no worth, You paid it all for me

You have been so, so kind to me

And oh, the overwhelming, never-ending, reckless love of God

Oh, it chases me down, fights 'til I'm found, leaves the ninety-nine

And I couldn't earn it, and I don't deserve it, still, You give Yourself away

Oh, the overwhelming, never-ending, reckless love of God, yeah

There's no shadow You won't light up

Mountain You won't climb up

Coming after me

There's no wall You won't kick down

Lie You won't tear down

Coming after me

There's no shadow You won't light up

Mountain You won't climb up

Coming after me

There's no wall You won't kick down

Lie You won't tear down

Coming after me

There's no shadow You won't light up

Mountain You won't climb up

Coming after me

There's no wall You won't kick down

Lie You won't tear down

Coming after me

There's no shadow You won't light up

Mountain You won't climb up

Coming after me

There's no wall You won't kick down

Lie You won't tear down

Coming after me

Oh, the overwhelming, never-ending, reckless love of God

Oh, it chases me down, fights 'til I'm found, leaves the ninety-nine

And I couldn't earn it, I don't deserve it, still, You give Yourself away

Oh, the overwhelming, never-ending, reckless love of God, yeah

Songwriters: Caleb Culver / Cory Asbury / Ran Jackson

Miracle!

Last week I announced on social media that we are expecting a baby in July! We are so very excited! 

This baby is a true miracle and our rainbow baby. I haven't shared on my blog about wanting another child or our struggle. We had been told by numerous doctors G was a miracle and we probably never would be able to have another one. I went through a period of where I was grieving. It was a very difficult time for me. I feel I haven't been able to make very many choices when it comes to my health. They have all been made for me over the past 5 years. 

I am so very thankful for little G. He is seriously the brightest miracle in my life! 

I found out I was pregnant right before Thanksgiving. I honestly didn't have much hope this pregnancy would continue.  A lot was going on right then. I had my sister coming to visit. I was going with my mom to Mayo Clinic for some health issues. I just tried to continue with life and I would go to the doctor after to see what was going on with the pregnancy. I didn't tell anyone I was pregnant. I just didn't want people worrying or giving me their opinion on things. This one wasn't planned at all and was a surprise. Yes, Yes, I know where babies come from and how they can happen. lol  I am not going into the details of the 6+ months before, but there wasn't much hope. 

We waited awhile to tell family and even longer to tell our friends. 

G felt he had to tell everyone! He was with us at a doctor appointments when the doctor was talking about the baby and we could hear the heartbeat. G says momma open your mouf let me see that baby? He thinks the baby is the hangy thing in the back of your throat. lol

He then went to school and told everyone he was having a baby sister. He told the people at Sonic when we got our soda water he is having a baby sister. I had my friends little girl with me the day I picked up G from school, so his teachers thought that is who he was talking about. 

He has been so excited. He keeps asking hasn't the baby been in your belly long enough?

At night he will pat my belly. He said I need to pat the baby, so it won't cry and go to sleep. 

What will little Post be? Boy or Girl? We will find out later today!

Monday Thrive - October 30

1) There are things as a mother I never imagined saying. 

 - If you decide to pick your nose and eat your boogers I am going to have to take the ipad away from you. 
- No, I do not smell, the smell is from the porta-potty. After my toddler announced to the entire pumpkin patch that I stunk!
- Please do not eat that donut off the floor of Dunkin Donuts that you just dropped. 
- We do not take our shoes off at the play ground to run around. You need to leave your shoes on until we get to the car. 

There are so many other things I say that I just can't think of right now. I need to start writing these things down. lol

2) Life has been crazy lately. I actually have traveled a lot this fall. I don't travel much anymore since I stopped working. G and I went to visit my cousin in Texas for a long weekend. Then I went on a girls trip which was absolutely amazing! Art, G and I are getting ready to go on vacation. We planned this trip long before I went on all these others mini trips. I am really excited for our vacation. The 3 of us haven't ever gone on vacation alone. We have gone on lots of trips to see people or taken people with us. It's going to be very nice for the 3 of us to just relax on the beach. 

3) I haven't been posting menu ideas for awhile because I feel like we have been eating the same things every other week. I go to Costco, buy whatever veggies they have, grab meat from Amazon or Costco and throw it together. My energy level has been awful lately. Part of this was because I went off paleo for a few days a month or so ago. I suffered for weeks trying to get back on track. In the future I will have 1 cheat item instead of a cheat days. Wow it really is not good for my MS. I had so many issues after not eating paleo. Also I realized every year for the past 4 years in October I really battle MS. My 2 major attacks were in October. The other 2 years when I didn't have an attack I just struggle with things terribly. I can't figure out why. My vitamin d level is good. October has been warm for us, so it isn't the lack of sunshine. I have actually gotten more sun in the past month than I do in like December or January. Our vacation is coming at a great time. Hopefully the rest and relaxation will really help me. 

4) I am looking forward to the holidays! My sister and her fiance` are coming for Thanksgiving. We are going to celebrate Christmas with her while she is here. It will just be so nice to have her here. Packages keep arriving from Amazon that my sister has ordered. G thinks he needs to open them and check what auntie has sent. Trying to explain to a toddler the boxes can't be open aren't going well. 

I am going to put up my tree before Thanksgiving this year. :::gasp:::: I know before Thanksgiving!!! I want it up before my sister comes and I don't want to do it while she is here. We have way too much tourist activities to be attending. 

5) Last week we lost one of MTC friends. I met her last year at the conference. It's hard to believe one year later she is gone. This is what gets me with MTC. One day people are working, functioning normal life and the next day they are in hospice. If you don't use Smile Amazon please consider it! Each purchase Amazon will donate money to a charity. Medullary Thyroid Cancer really could use the money for research. There is such little research that has been done for MTC. We really need to find a cure. Right now more research is being done than has probably ever been done. I donated some of my tumor tissues recently to help with the research. I am not sure if they will find a cure during my lifetime, but any way I can help to hopefully one day find a cure is so important to me. 

I hope everyone has a spooky Halloween tomorrow!!! G is LOVING Halloween this year! I love that he is so into holidays! 

Boy Mom!

I love being a boy mom! Growing up I had mostly boy dolls. If I was able to pick which doll I wanted I always picked a boy. Maybe because I was partially a tomboy growing up. I liked boy toys better than girl toys too. I was happy with trucks, guns, legos etc. If I went through a toy catalog I picked probably more boy things than girl things. Back in the day there wasn't girl legos. 

When I got pregnant I tried to time it all, so we would have a boy. I prayed God would give us a boy too. In my gut I knew I was having a boy. I didn't say anything because I didn't want to jinx it. lol When I found out G was a boy I cried. It was one of my favorite moments of being pregnant. Being pregnant wasn't easy for me at all. Hearing it's a boy just brought me to tears! 

Boys are tough! Kids are tough! Each one is tough in their own way. I have a very stubborn boy. What did I expect when his dad and I both are very stubborn. He makes me laugh every day. Lately more than ever. We recently did fire drills with him. We would have the smoke detector go off and talked with him how we have to get out of the house. If he hears it he needs to yell "momma fire" and head to the door. He was yelling for Sammy to come with us. Bubba come on fire outside he would tell Sammy. One time Sammy wouldn't go. I told him if Sammy doesn't go with you then you have to leave him. Well a few days after we did these fire drills he decided to pull a prank. He yelled MOMMA FIRE really loud. We then had to have a talk how we don't pretend there are fires. 

He recently got this tent for Easter from my parents. He loves it! Him & his friends will play in this tent like crazy. He can zip it up himself now. He will get inside and hide. When he plays hide & seek he is not a good hider because he ends up laughing, talking or giggling. I love this stage! So innocent. Like when he closes his eyes he doesn't think you can see him. I play along with him. I will say oh man I left G at the store. I better go back to get him. He will yell aaaarrrrggggg I got you. 

G doesn't really care what clothing he wears for the most part. Once in awhile he will protest. I usually just give in because for the most part he could careless. One day he told me his camo shorts didn't fit. He wanted to wear shorts like da da. Ok that is fine because he wanted to wear khaki shorts. Shoes are the one thing that have always mattered to him. He has picked out shoes since he was about a year old. Lately he wants to wear his rain boots with shorts. Yikes! Blue camo shorts with green camo rain boots. As long as we aren't going to the store I just let him go. 

I love being a mom and I love having a boy!!! 

Put your Health 1st in 2017!

My life was changed in May 2016 when I was encouraged to start eating Paleo by my doctor. I was having so many health issues. I honestly thought within a couple years I would need a cane or wheel chair. I felt horrible! I could barely go for a walk without needing to rest for a couple days. I was barely able to get the normal daily tasks done. Chasing a toddler was extremely exhausting. 

The thought of never eating bread or dairy again was very overwhelming. I am German and Italian....seriously no pasta or bread? Do you know how I was raised? I was raised on flour based foods. Then I remembered when I did the HCG diet. I lost 80 pounds not eating foods with flour. I felt really great when I was doing certain stages of that diet which didn't have gluten or dairy. If I was able to do it before, so I could do it again. 

I had my entire grocery list made out on a Thursday when I was encouraged to change my diet. I told my doctor ok well I guess I will go home and make a whole new grocery list. And I did! I totally changed what I fed myself and my family. I am not going to make different meals for George or Art. If it wasn't healthy for me to be eating all these things then my toddler maybe shouldn't be eating those things either. 

During this time I came across Dr. Wahls. Another life changing event. I started following the Wahls Protocol. As I would read her book I just couldn't imagine how my body would even start to heal with just foods. I was willing to take the chance. If it worked for her then it might help me. She was a lot worse off then I was, but I felt my health was headed to a bad place like Dr. Wahls experienced. 

Fast forward to the present. Eating the Paleo diet has not changed my cancer at all. I have actually had additional growth on some of the cancer spots. My MS has changed drastically. If you have read previous posts and new posts that will be coming out you will see my fitness level has greatly improved. Right now I can see my life not needing a cane or wheel chair. 

Over Christmas I ate some non-Paleo food items. Oh boy! Usually I am SUPER careful about what I eat. I decided to allow myself to eat somethings I liked in the past. Lesson learned it isn't worth it. My body was achy, stomach hurt, bloating, and just feeling like garbage. I can't do dairy period! 

If you have any health issues I HIGHLY recommend you try eating the Paleo diet! It really has been life changing for me. I will say the first 4-6 weeks were super hard. It got boring trying to figure out what I could eat and getting sick of the same things. I felt I wouldn't be able to ever eat out at a restaurant. Over the past few months I have been able to change recipes to make them Paleo friendly. When a recipe calls for milk I use coconut milk. When it calls for butter I use ghee. Flour - I use tapioca starch or almond flour. You slowly start to learn what substitutes for things. You also learn to look ahead at menus and pick items you can eat when you eat out. You can ask them to hold certain ingredients and let them know your food allergies. 

Some people are able to add cheese and rice back into their diets without experiencing any problems. I think it all depends on your health and body. I can't add those things back in. I tried and it didn't work for me. I don't think you can expect to see a huge difference in how you feel within a couple days. When I look back to how I felt in April of 2016 to how I feel in December 2016 it is night and day. 

Getting to a healthy place isn't a sprint. You have to take it like a marathon. Slow and steady. 

1. Start to get some sleep! Your body needs sleep badly! So many people don't sleep properly. You need 7-9 hours of sleep each night. If you aren't able to sleep at night try to get a little nap. A 20 minute nap for me really helped heal my body. I use to nap 4-6 days a week for about 20-30 minutes. Now I rarely nap. I still love my Sunday afternoon nap while listening to a football game. Something so calming about those naps. 

2. Change the foods you eat! If you are eating processed food and feel terrible...shocker it's probably because it is processed. How can you expect your body to process these foods? If it has a package of dry ingredients did that come from a field? That is going to sit in your body for who knows how long trying to figure out how to process it. I could go on and on about this. 

3. Exercise! Even if it's for 20 minutes a few times a week. Find something you like. Take your kids for a walk to feed the ducks that crappy bread you shouldn't be eating. lol YouTube has a lot of free workouts. I love Chris Freytag workouts. You can find a lot of them on YouTube. 

4. Start reading the labels of the products you use. Look up ingredients on products to figure out exactly what is in the product. If your lotion has some strange things listed on it google those words. You will probably find out you are putting harmful chemicals on your body. 

You can't jump into this all head first. I did things slowly. I did the food, sleep, exercise and then products. I still struggle with sleep. It is midnight and here I am writing a blog post. Tomorrow I will probably need a nap. MS is a killer for messing with your sleep. Sometimes sleep aids work and something they don't. 

Happy Thanksgiving!

I am so thankful for these two amazing guys in my life! The past year has been full of changes for our family. We have all had to go with the flow to figure out a new normal for us. While we have been through a lot it has brought us closer together. I am thankful for the changes the past year has brought us because in the end it was always the right thing for us. I hope you have a wonderful thanksgiving day and fill your bellies with delicious food! 

Blessings during Stormy Times!

When I was in ND two of my cousins had these adorable peep toe booties. They wore them with shorts and jeans. They were just adorable! I really wanted a pair. Problem was they were sold out in the stores. I told Amy and Lisa I was going to steal them if they wore them around me. I found them on Amazon and added them to my wish list. Once I came back home I didn't really think much about them except when I would look at my wish list.

I had been having a rough week when I got a package from my cousin. I opened the card and it was from my aunt and cousins in ND. Inside the box were the shoes! I stood in the kitchen crying. Even thinking about it now makes me all teary. They wrote me a sweet card. It was just what I needed at that time. 

The week before I had been at a thyroid cancer conference. The conference was AMAZING! We learned so much! BUT it was REALLY hard dealing with all the death. The first day of the conference I think I spent half the day crying. I just couldn't say much without a shaky voice. It was overwhelming seeing what this horrible disease has done to people. 

These shoes came just at the right time. Instead of having a rough day I spent the rest of my day thinking about the blessings in my life and playing with my little miracle boy. 

26 days of Thankfulness - Day 26 - Z

Today I am thankful for:

Z

Zebras

Zachary's

Zoo

26 days of Thankfulness - Day 25 - Y

Today I am thankful for:

Y

Youth

Yuppies

Yummy Food

26 days of Thankfulness - Day 24 - X

Today I am thankful for:

X

X-Ray's

XXXII Years of Life

26 days of Thankfulness - Day 23 - W

Today I am thankful for:

W

Water

Winter

Warmth

26 days of Thankfulness - Day 22 - V

Today I am thankful for:

V

Vacations

Visitors

26 days of Thankfulness - Day 21 - U

Today I am thankful for:

U

USA

Umbrella

26 days of Thankfulness - Day 20 - T

Today I am thankful for:

T

Thanksgiving

Target

Technology

Thunderstorms

26 days of Thankfulness - Day 19 - S

What I am thankful for today:

S

Sister
Stepdaughter

Son-in-law

Sammy

Sunlight

26 days of Thankfulness - Day 18 - R

Today I am thankful for:

R

Reindeer

Rainbows

Redemption

26 days of Thankfulness - Day 17 - Q

Today I am thankful for:

Q

Quiteness

Quiche

26 days of Thankfulness - Day 16 - P

Today I am thankful for:

P

Post's

Prayer
Pastor
Parents

• Physicians

26 days of Thankfulness - Day 15 - O

Today I am thankful for:

O

Oxygen
Ovens
Outdoors

26 days of Thankfulness - Day 14 - N

Today I am thankful for:

N

North Dakota
Neurologists
Nurses
NFL
Neighbors