Monday, August 31, 2015

Life Changing

Last year I read this article. I knew my life was about to change in just a few short weeks as my due date approached. There are some parts that I had no idea would be changing so much. 

In the article it mentions how you feel you need space, but then you don't need space. There are days I feel I just want to go to the store alone. I would like just 30 minutes to an hour alone. Then another part of me doesn't want to leave G. I honestly love being a mom more than anything in the world. I have realized though in order to be a good mom I need some time for myself every so often. 

One of my friends asked me recently how I liked motherhood. My answer was I felt lost in some ways before motherhood. I just felt there was more to life, but I didn't know what it was. Then I had was complete. I knew what my purpose in life was all about me a mom. 

The only thing I struggle with is the sleep. I now can function on 5 hours of interrupted sleep each night. If I am able to get 6 hours of sleep in a night I feel AMAZING! I worried how I would function without sleep before G was born. People would say you eventually just function. I couldn't wrap my head around how you function on such little sleep. Well they were right. You just learn to function with little sleep. That doesn't mean you aren't cranky or a zombie some days. Life goes on. 

I am different person. I look at things differently now. It's crazy to me how much of a mama bear I am. I am a helicopter mom when it comes to who my child is around and who takes care of him. I am not a helicopter mom when it comes to letting my child roam the house. He needs to explore, learn what happens when things open and shut, play alone, and eat a little dirt. 

I can look back on my life and 2 dates pop out in my mind that changed me. The first was January 18, 2013 when I found out I have a cancer with no cure. That was a life changing event that rocked my world. The next date is September 6, 2014 when I had G. My world was rocked again, but mostly with emotions of protecting and loving this amazing little boy. I think the order in which things happened were fitting. I have soaked up every day of motherhood. I want to cherish every moment with him. 

I look back on the past year and I see how much we have all changed. Art and I have both changed a lot. Life is a lot different now, but it is different in a good way. I can't wait to share the world with G. I want him to know just how much I love him every single day.