Setbacks

In the past I've been very open about my life on my blog & social media. I've shared a lot of personal things when it came to my health ~ infertility, cancer and the start of what the doctor thinks is MS. Then I had G and my blogging really slowed down.

I realize people only put out there what they want people to see. Sometimes I can vomit what's going on in my life. That's my way of healing and handling the curveballs that are being thrown at me. 

Ten years ago if I could see into the future I would have said I was being shown the wrong life. Those things happen to other people not me. I've learned I am those other people to everyone else. 

A few weeks back I complained to someone how I just couldn't do all this. Work full time, be a full time mom, and battle 2 diseases. The person pretty much told me I needed to suck it up because that's what all working moms go through. Those comments have stung. I learned though that person has absolutely no idea what I go through in life and really is not a friend. 

Moms take on the world. We take on so much with so little help. We just think we can do it all. Reality is we need help and can't do it all. Sometimes we just need some encouragement and sympathy/empathy. 

I spend a good portion weekly reading/researching about my cancer. Trying to make sure I'm getting the best care available. This is not a normal thing most other mothers even worry about on a daily basis. Sure we all worry in the back of our minds that we will be there for their children life. Unfortunately I get a quarterly reminder how short my life can be.

I try to take that to stop & enjoy each moment I am given. I keep my camera close by because I want to catch every moment I can. I journal daily for G. Part of it so one day I can look back and remember all the little things. Another part is I want him to know how much I loved being his mom. 

I started writing this blog post back in October. I have struggled some with the setbacks I have been dealing with over the past few months. I had an ah-ha moment the other day. I was struggling with the actions of people, why things can be such a challenge and just feeling overwhelmed. In my ah-ha moment I realized I am going through a time of setback right now in life. I need to take a moment to see what I can learn from all this. There must be something to learn in a period of a setback. I have no idea what I am supposed to be learning, but I don't have any doubt that I will learn something.