It is very frustrating to be told well we have a couple patients with your cancer and we will help you the best we can. It is almost like a puzzle. I search for a piece here and there, show it to my doctors and then someone grabs another piece from left field. During my referral request I was referred to an oncologist within my HMO who is marvelous. One of the very few people who actually "get it". Things I have wanted other doctors to do he agrees with me and does it or he finds the best approach.
I have felt maybe the reason I have rare cancer is because God wants me to rely on him. I need to trust him, get a better relationship with him and realize there are some things in life I need help with. There are days I throw my hands up in the air and say God this is for you to handle. I just can't do this and I have to just trust him on my situation. I am a very stubborn person. I like to do things myself and do them right. It has been very hard to let go of things. Let go and Let God is an easy thing to say, but another thing to actually do.
I was at the point I was ready to give up on my referral request. I had received so much push back that I was tired of fighting. Well the stubborn streak showed itself again at my appointment last week. I told my doctor please put in the referral. I agreed not to cause a big issue if it is denied, but I wanted to try. I have additional spots now that I feel are more serious, so I need someone with more experience to review my case. I thought I would hear from the board in 1-2 months.
Wednesday night I came home late. The mail was still in the mail box, so I grabbed it. At first I was thinking why didn't Art take the mail inside, but I dismissed that thought when I saw an envelope from my HMO. It said OUTSIDE REFERRAL in the from portion. I looked at the envelope for a long minute thinking why should I open this because it is going to be denied which will result in me bawling. I even said to Art great I don't know if I can handle this tonight.
Instead I read HMO has approved your request for medical care from the above provider. WHAT IN THE WORLD!!!! I started screaming it was approved, it was approved. I was jumping around and then I started crying. Art said you know what this means? I knew what he meant. Our prayers had been answered. I had my doctor appointment last Tuesday, July 23. The doctor submitted my referral that day. Within a week my referral was approved. Unheard of! Amazing! God is good! Prayer works!
I sat in our room & just cried. I cried because there was hope in sight. God listened to me. Every day I pray my friend TJ and Marissa cancer to be healed and my health. I pray for these things about the same exact place every single day as I make my short walk to work. Earlier this week I was frustrated and asked God are you listening to me? I keep asking for the same things every single day. When are you going to listen to me and answer my prayers? Well he answered 2 things this week. Marissa had scans done and it came back negative. This is HUGE. She has to continue to go through treatments, but God was listening to me. Then my referral came through.
