Friday, November 19, 2010

Today is a little sad for me.  One year ago today I had a miscarriage.  We had been soooo excited for a month celebrating the news that a new little baby would be joining us in July.  I can remember the day like it was yesterday.  We had a big staff meeting at work.  The VP was here to talk to us about great things happening, donuts for everyone and the holiday spirit was in the air.  I even remember walking into work listening to my ipod.  Someone was trying to talk to me and I didn't even hear them.  I was oblivious to everyone at that moment with tunes filling my ears.

I never attended the company meeting instead I headed to the doctors office.  The ride home was the longest...the doctor didn't have to tell me what I already knew....she informed us there was an empty sack.  Heartbroken!  I think my mom and mother in law took the news harder at first.  I wanted to be strong and have a wonderful holiday season.  November 30 was our next appointment to see our baby....I remember laying in bed on my birthday crying instead of going to get another ultrasound of our baby I had a follow up doctors appointment. because the next day was a check up to make sure I was ok after the miscarriage.

July has come and gone....every month hoping it will bring a big fat positive plus sign.  Instead my friendly aunt likes to grace me with her presence of cramps. One year later 30+ vials of blood have been taken from me (16 at one time), 10 vials from Art, numerous other tests and we are still at square one as to why 3 miscarriages have happened.  On Monday I have the last of the series of tests.  I am having an HCG test.  I am NOT looking forward to this test.  I am glad to have everything finished and to meet with our infertility doctor again. 


Lil' Woman said...

I'm so sorry love, I hope they can find out the cause of it.

Catie said...

I'm so sorry :( I just experienced a miscarriage as well. Hugs and thoughts coming your way!!