Saturday, July 7, 2012

Take that Goliath!

In September 2009 Art and I walked a 5K for breast cancer. The walk almost killed me that day! I made it one mile and thought I was going to die. Art kept encouraging me to keep going.  I had no intention of quitting, but I didn't know how I would make it to the end. Art described it as if I was a balloon and when I saw the one mile mark I completely deflated. I had thought we had gone much further than one mile. We had over 2 more miles to go and my legs were numb. I made it to the finish line with seconds left to spare before it said 60 minutes. I think I finished in 59:58 minutes or something really close to almost being an hour. 


That whole walk has been like a dark cloud hanging over my head or Goliath taunting me. Art had asked me to talk it in 2010 again and I refused. 2011 we completely forgot about it until the day of the walk.  This year I am running the 5K. 2009 I barely could walk it well 2012 I am going to run the whole thing. In order to run it though I have to train for it....ugh! 


I decided every Sunday until race day I am going to go train at the trail.  I had wanted to do try to get in 3 days this week, since I was off work.  I ran out of time on Thursday and didn't make it over to the trail.  Then today I was sitting on the couch dreading the thought of even trying it. There was Goliath taunting me.....I couldn't do it, so why even try.....I might be able to walk it, but no way I could even run half of it. Besides it was 77 degrees outside...was I nuts. 


Part of my motivation for today was seeing my cousin blog post about the weight we have each lost. It was very encouraging to see how far we both have come. It was the kick in the butt I needed today. I got up off the couch, went to my room, changed and headed out the door. On the way I stopped for a half off Sonic peach ice tea! That was going to be my reward waiting in the car! A nice freezing cold peach ice tea. mmmmm


Rational thinking started as I headed to the trail.  I knew I could finish in under an hour. If 3 years ago it took me an hour just walking, I should be able to do it in 50 minutes or less. Shave off 10 minutes ever couple weeks, while running farther each time. I had a goal in mind that I would like to run it in 30-35 minutes in Sept.  Today I would be happy with completing it in 50 minutes, but 40 minutes would be awesome!  


I started out walking for the first 5 minutes and then I started jogging, I could feel my right upper thigh muscle was sore. Almost cramping.  There was Goliath again taunting me that I couldn't do it. I would be lucky to finish by just walking. Thursday night I did a Bob Harper DVD with lots of kicking. I must have kicked too high and pulled the muscle. I started making small goals to jog to and then walk a little bit. I was about half way done and I had been going for 20 minutes. I thought the rest of the trail looked like an eternity and was wondering how my thigh was going to hold up jogging. All the big hills were ahead of me too!


I could see my car as a little dot on the other side about 25 minutes in and I thought I have got to get busy to get this DONE! I speed walked taking long steps to help stretch out my thigh. I was three quarters done at 35 minutes. I took off running and thought I am not going to stop until I ran the length of a football field. During this part of the run I felt awesome at one point and felt like a kid again running. Then my mind started thinking I couldn't run anymore and I was going to throw up. 


I knew in order to finish I needed my running song to push to the end. I don't know how this became my running song, but I love to listen to it when I run. The song probably wouldn't motivate anyone else, but it always makes me think of my family. It's called Songs for Sale by David Nail. Talks about a guy fixing fence - reminds me of my dad. A woman who patches jeans - reminds me of my mom sewing. How some people are called to raise a family and it makes me run because I want to raise a family. 


I ran and ran...then my watch showed 40 minutes and I had a little bit further to run. I speed walked for a little bit. Then I thought no way is my watch going to show 42 minutes. 41 minutes is acceptable, but not 42. I took off like road runner! I ran faster than I have ever ran. The dust was flying behind me as I pounded the ground.  I got to the end gasping for air as my watch showed 41 minutes and some seconds.  I had done it!!!! Then I started crying!  HA take that Goliath...that stupid black cloud...it had nothing on me now. 


As I drove home I cried a little more thinking of how far I have come. Thursday, July 5 marked the one year mark, since I started this journey. It has been a journey with lots of ups and down. I have had lots of set backs over the past year, but I kept jumping back on the wagon. Days when I wanted to quit, I pushed through it and ate my stupid salad. I went through numerous miscarriages, but that didn't stop me. Each pound that came off was one step closer to hopefully bringing a successful pregnancy. One year later I am 80 pounds lighter and I faced my Goliath. 


4 comments :

julie said...

so very proud of you! I had to fight back the tears when i read this.

julie said...

also have you ever heard of from the couch to 5k? maybe it will help you prepare for the 5k

Crazy Town ND said...

I am crying thinkng of your determination...you have always had a strong will and I have told everyone if we can steer it in the right direction it will be an asset...WOW...WOW!!! Love you, Mom

jenth said...

Becky, you are such an inspiration! Good job on the weight loss, and tackling the 5K again. I used Couch to 5K to work up to running an entire 5K, and even with that, I walked a little bit during my first 5K. So don't kick yourself if you don't run the whole thing. Take baby steps. The Couch to 5K is a good way to try to work up to it without it seeming as overwhelming.