Wednesday, January 18, 2017

It's Cake Day!

It is hard to believe today is 4 years since my surgery! Two days I relive each year. The day I went in for surgery and the 3 days it took to birth a baby. lol Surgery day is a shorter day for me to relive because 11 hours of it I was asleep. My life changed that day. I say a lot for the better, but reality is it changed for the worse too. A new things happened for me that I didn't experience in the past - anxiety. The unknown with having a cancer. 

Each year I celebrate January 18 with cake. Last year I struggled with the day. I didn't really even acknowledge the day. Last year was really hard dealing with it all. This year I went out to Whole Foods to find a gluten free cake. I took G with me which was probably not a good idea. He was pointing and yelling about all the cakes he wanted me to buy. I finally found him a box of crackers, so I could pick out something. I found some chocolate cake bites. 

Now listen I didn't even eat cake or ice cream on my birthday last year. Unheard of! Well I am not going to let another year go by where I don't celebrate another year of my life WITH cake! lol

I decided 2017 was going to be a year where we don't live waiting for a health crisis. I am not going to a million doctor appointments. I am not going to stress about test results every few months. I am just going to let cancer become a blip on my radar a couple times a year. 

I am thankful I don't have to wake up at 4:30am tomorrow to head to the hospital. I am thankful I won't wake up at 9:30pm tomorrow in the worst pain of my life. Childbirth didn't even compare to that pain. Maybe because I knew with childbirth I could get drugs that would numb it all AND I would have a sweet baby in the end. I am thankful for right now my cancer is stable. I am thankful my little miracle boy came after all this cancer ruckus! 

This year I am going to eat all the cake bites I bought with my little George, laugh and soak in the minutes of another amazing year with cancer!