Tuesday, October 18, 2016

Little Moments

As I sat at the hospital waiting on another scan to check my cancer I sat there soaking up the earlier moments of the day. Earlier in the day G and I read books, played with his car ramp Art just built him then we hit a balloon around the room. I thought back over the past 8 years. The struggles we went through to bring this little boy into the world. So many miscarriages, cancer, and then MS. We went through so much heartache.  I know we both wondered why are we going through so much. What have we done to deserve this?  

There are times now I look back and have these moments maybe this is why we went through so much. It changed how I mother. It changed how I look at things. All of those things have changed me for the better. I'm able to take a deep breath in the midst of chaos and get through it.

A couple weeks ago I was that mother carrying their screaming toddler out of Costco in a superman pose as he flailed around because I wouldn't let him have his way. I started to get frustrated. Then I thought back to what I had been doing 2 years before. Taking phone calls from retirees yelling because their pension check was 1 day late. They refuse to get their check direct deposited. Instead of always having their money in their account on the 1st they wait around for a paper check. Kind of similar to a toddler who wants ice cream instead of a sandwich at lunch time. I took a deep breath, laughed and unloaded my stuff into the car. I would rather deal with my screaming toddler any day! As hard as I fought to bring this amazing kid into the world I have to fight to make sure he grows up to be a kind man.