Saturday, April 5, 2014

For This Child I Have Prayed!

When we first got married I felt it was important to wait a year before we started a family. We started trying to have a baby right a few months after our first anniversary. I've blogged about our struggles quite a few times. 

It has been a struggle for almost five years. We have an army of children waiting for us in heaven. I always picture getting to heaven & nine little kids jumping up & down excited to see me. Each of those babies I had hopes & dreams for. I prayed for everyone of them. I cried every time we lost one. The hurt I felt over every miscarriage was just so deep. 

There have been times I just couldn't understand why I had to go through so many miscarriages. It was so frustrating to me that women on drugs, abusive parents and teenagers were cranking out kids. Here am I begging God to just give me one baby. 

Then 2013 came along with a whole other set of struggles. There was a time I considered never having children because of cancer. I struggled with is it fair to put a child through this burden? A wonderful doctor at UCSF told me move on with your life, have children & enjoy life to its fullest because something else other than cancer will probably take me. This started a whole conversation between Art & I. We decided to go for it & try to have a baby. 

I have dreamed of the day I would get to make this blog post. I am currently 16 weeks pregnant with a healthy baby BOY. I  due September 17. 

Two reasons I believe I'm pregnant. 

1. God heard my prayers for 5 years. He put me through so many trials. I've really tried to learn through those trials. The miscarriage in October 2010 is what made Art & I start going to church. I'm not sure we ever would have gone to church if we hadn't been through that trial. 

I read this verse the first part of 2014 & I just started crying. Elisabeth was considered barren, but God gave her a child. I clung to the second verse when I found out I was pregnant. Nothing is impossible with God. It got me through tough days when doubt would set in. 

And, behold, thy cousin Elisabeth, she hath also conceived a son in her old age: and this is the sixth month with her, who was called barren. For with God nothing shall be impossible. (Luke 1:36, 37 KJV)

Prayer it works!  My parents prayed for me over 33 years ago. Around 28 years ago I started praying for a brother or sister. Four years later we got Lacey. 

For this child I prayed; and the Lord hath given me my petition which I asked of him: (1 Samuel 1:27 KJV)

2. I truly believe my thyroid cancer was causing the miscarriages. The doctors can't confirm or deny it. My gut tells me this played a HUGE part in my struggle. 

The blog has suffered majorly since I've been exhausted and sick. I am not complaining but happy to have these symptoms. 

I will write about telling our family, nursery ideas and weekly pregnancy posts. I have waited my entire life for this moment in time. I couldn't wait to get married as a little girl just so I could have a baby. I've wanted to be a mom since I can remember.

Today we found out we are having a little boy. It was a moment I won't ever forget. I always had little boy dolls and wanted boys. I screamed, clapped and then cried when they said it's a boy. It was worth everything over the past 5 years for this very moment! I would do it all over again if it brought me right here to where I am. God is good! This child is truly a miracle and I thank God for this baby every day.  


gracie@ohgraciepie said...

This made me cry. I am beyond happy for you guys! I can't imagine going through all that you have and am so amazed that you continue on with your positive attitude. You will be a great mom and I can't wait to see more posts all about it!

Darcie said...

Massive Hugs!! Couldn't be happier. You two deserve it!!

Darcie said...

You two deserve this!! Massive Hugs!!

Julie witte said...

Brought tears to my eyes. I am so happy for you and art. I look forward to reading future posts about all the baby things going on

Kellys Reality said...

So happy for you!! How blessed :) You'll be an amazing mother!